How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? - Episode 8

Gavin says last night the women sang like there was no tomorrow, but there is a tomorrow and it’s tonight. We open with a group rendition of How Do You Measure a Year, from Rent. It sounds great till they try to get funky, proving only that these are white girls going back at least several generations.

Gavin introduces the judges (Duke of Broadway, Princess of Octave, The Merciful King) and uses it as his chance for his one-per-episode joke for gay men. Last night it was the crack about one of the male dancers being a cowboy in his dreams. Tonights it's, “If we only had some queens.”

We get flashbacks to last night’s performances and included in them is something telling that wasn’t broadcast: Prima Donna’s reaction to Judge Elaine Overholt’s criticism of her habit of consistently rejecting notes she receives from coaches and directors and her habit of blaming her own failings on others. Here it is: “If confidence is being confused with being a diva, I’m not going to be any less confident because at the end of the day, I’m getting the job done.”

Hey, Prima – NOBODY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR CONFIDENCE. Elaine only talked about your inability to accept criticism. That’s not confidence – it’s the opposite: insecurity. That you have already turned around what she said in a way that permits you to once again avoid accepting responsibility for your own behaviour is all the evidence I would need to find somebody else to work with for the next year, if I were the director.

Gavin announces the bottom three. They are Katie, Kyla and Tamara. They do Jesus Christ Superstar. Katie is animated; maybe over-animated. Tamara is so straight-armed she could be auditioning for River Dance. Kyla stands and sings, making the mistake of trying to get by on the looks that have brought her this far. Oh yeah – and the musical director makes the lets get funky mistake again.

Simon wonders whether Kyla’s exotic beauty is right for Maria. He thinks Tamara has hidden depths. “You’ve come a long way in this already. Could you come far enough to open as Maria by October? I’m not sure.” And he worries that “Baby Maria” Katie doesn’t have the maturity to play the woman that tomboy Maria becomes over the course of the play.

It is when Simon brings up the “clear, light soprano voice” that is his sine qua non for Maria that we know who will be saved. Tamara is still in the competition. Kyla and Katie are gone.