Canadian Idol - Episode 023

Final 6 with Montreal’s Simple Plan doing the mentoring. In his attempt at gonzo journalism, Canadian style, Ben calls them “Unbridled Canadian rock.”

We start with Amberly doing Fiest’s 1-2-3-4. My first reaction upon hearing the choice is to review my recaps, ’cause she’s already done this one, right? 22 recaps later I accept that I am wrong – she hasn’t chewed this particular flavour yet. So she chews. Lesson for this week: the kind of bubbles you blow depends on the gum you choose, not the flavour. It’s like every other song she’s done. She’s not going to unbridle this particular Canadian horse so close to the finish, so this is the last time I type, “Not counting The Redemption Song.” It’ll be copied and pasted from here on in.

Gotta say something about the freakin’ make-up. You looked like a corpse, Amberly. Jack’s Elvira crack was totally deserved. You are such a beauty, I’d rather see your zits than most women’s nipples. Please, open your make-up kit and throw out the trowel right now.

Theo Tams – with a haircut that finally suits him. If you love him, hide the jell – does Sarah Slean’s Sweet Ones. The guy is amazing in his comfort with the 88s. He never has to look. He seems comfortable tonight, goofy even. Halfway through the last verse he stands up, kicks the piano bench out of the way and gets into a faux-gruff voice with a smile on his face. The last note is a long, high one. As he ends it he steps back and practically vogues. Unshowy showmanship. Looks good on, ya, guy.

Mitch does fellow Maritimer Joel Plasket’s I Love This Town. He finger picks his Gibson J-50, no band behind him. The song is sooooo good, and Mitch seems to be one of those guys that sings up (or down) to the caliber of the material.

Mitch doing the solo troubadour bit is what he should have been doing all along. Damn, he sounded good; and everybody knows I am no Mitch fan. Keep keeping it simple, Mitch, and you’ll keep making me look stupid.

Earl takes on Little Bones by The Tragically Hip. Oh No! This is terrible. His vocal feed is right off the mic. There is no reverb, no balancing, no EQ – the voice is flat as the Prairies. It must sound different to the people in the hall, because none of the judges mention it and the crowd doesn’t rise up, screaming for blood. I could imagine how you sounded, Earl, but that’s just because I’ve spent years balancing vocals through PAs. Most Canadians are just going to think you sound bad – and you’ve got such a great natural tone. After landing in the bottom three last week, this is not a good development.

Drew Wright does That Song by Big Wreck and the judges think it was too much song for him (except for Sass, who liked the quiet part). The judges fault him for not being animate enough. Yeah, hey – the forums have been full of discussion about Drew’s lack of charisma for weeks. But I thought he did a fine job on a great tune. In fact, the only performer better so far is Mitch.

Wow, did you see what I just typed? It was like the opening scene in The Matrix; a real Who’s-fucking-with-my-computer?-I-didn’t-type-that moment.

Mookie goes back to the Sixties for Steppenwolf’s Magic Carpet Ride. The arrangement uses a scratchin’ DJ, which detracts from the drive of the rhythm. But it sounds good in theory, so I don’t fault the try. And the “Close your eyes girl” build really needs the ascending power chords. But, hey, he’s a star, right? I mean he, like, knocked the mic stand down and everything. He's got so much charisma he gets chariz on everything.

Bottom three: Earl, Mookie and Amberly. My man Earl goes home.