So You Think You Can Dance Canada - Top 8

First, I wasn’t able to get the results show recap done last week due to other stuff. That’s the way it goes sometimes.

The Top 8 are coupled as follows: Miles and Allie; Izaak and Arrasay; Vincent and Natalli; Nico and Lisa. They look pretty casual in the intro. There will be two performances by each couple. Apparently I wasn’t the only observer who thought last weeks pseudo Dance for your Life segments were out of place – but when are we going to see for-real solo routines?

Leah is in her Eighties purple prom dress (she doesn’t look that old, ya know?). Judges are Tre and Jean Marc as per usual with SYTYCD US judges Mia Michaels and Dan Karaty filling in.

Miles and Allie start with a Samba Adam and Eve routine choreod by Eric Katy. All three are from Calgary, by the way.

They dance to Aquanile by Hector Lavoe. We know that this dance occurs after Adam and Eve got the eviction notice because they have covered their nakedness. Allie is costumed in a bikini made out of green material designed to look like leaves. Miles wears a pair of brown polyester bell bottoms. Oh, I miss Disco 2000. The dance begins with Allie in front of Miles. When she steps to the side there is an audible gasp from the audience at the sight of shirtless Miles’ abs. They are so huge it looks freakish – like he’s wearing a flesh coloured, sleeveless Batman suit.

Miles continues to impress with his abilities as a complete dancer, not just a B-boy. Allie looks great and dances the same. Only weak spot is the tentative way they came out of the first lift and spin. There’s one point where Allie does a backward limbo-like bend. Just as she passes the point of no return and falls, Miles, who is looking the other way the whole time, slips out a foot and catches her head. Nice.

Mia tells them, “You need to always dress like this.” Dan says, “I saw things there I’ve never seen before.” Yeah; like, Allie needs to wax.

Izaak and Arrasay do the Lindy Hop to My Chemical Romance’s Welcome to the Black Parade, choreod by Benji Schwimmer. Leah intros it as, “From the war zone: a punk rock Lindy Hop.” It is hard, athletic and speed-metal fast. The judges complain the punk-rock war zone motif was a confusing non-starter. Mia and Dan tell Izaak he was overshadowed by Arrasay. What a shock.

Natalli and Vincent do a Lil “C” Krump routine to Lost Boiz Anthem, by Tha J-Squad. They come out in cat-burglar outfits, with the hoods on their black hoodies tied tight so their faces look like kabuki masks. Vincent carries two bags of money. We know because of the dollar sign on the bags. The routine is alright, but not great – certainly not as good as the Krump bit Lil “C” choreod for Miles and Lara a few weeks back. At one point Natalli clearly misses a move Vincent was expecting.

Mia tells the pair, “Don’t be too hard on your selves.” When a judge tells you that, it’s not a good sign.

Nico and Lisa are next, a Blake McGrath choreod Jazz Funk (translation – whatever you want) routine to the Pussycat Dolls’ When I Grow Up. Lisa is in another one of her Galaxy Quest porno outfits; a black, slit to the pubic bone leotard with a black crinoline rooster tail. Nico is done up like Jimmy Olsen, complete with the fedora and camera. He starts snapping pictures. She comes out of her director’s chair to writhe on the ground while Jimmy straddles her and clicks away. Jimmy gets too turned on, ditches the camera, pulls her to her feet and they dance passionately.

The two US judges are so shocked by the lasciviousness of the choreography that neither of them mentions the awkward pause in the lift that got Lisa out of her chair the second time. Both Mia and Dan tell us the routine would not have been allowed on SYTYCD shows in some other countries. The crowd cheers for Canadian sensuality. I have a vision of adult video store clerks flooding onto Yonge Street from their second-floor hidey holes, raising their fingers in the air and chanting, “We’re #1,” while Heritage Canada bureaucrats dance in the background, chanting, “We’re not boring! We’re not boring!”

Allie and Miles are back for their second routine, an Afro Jazz number choreod by someone I don’t recognize, Vicky Lambert. The music is Shosholoza, by the Soweto Gospel Choir, who were used in a piece a few weeks back (Vincent and Lisa, maybe?). The set up is a man and women waiting for a train. They are on opposite sides of the track. They make eye contact and ease into relieving the boredom of their wait with a quick dance.

The two are outfitted like Depression-era poor white southerners; an odd choice. The routine is received well by the judges. Tre goes off on one of her making-it-up-as-I-go critiques. That’s what I call them, which is more polite than, “talking out of her ass again.” She says, “To do African there is a grounding, emotional and with the body, that has to occur before anything comes out.” Right. And it rolls off the palate leaving a persimmony aftertaste.

Arrasay and Izaak tango; Alex DeSilva choreos. The couple are costumed as a Thirties gangster (black suit, white tie and spats) and a showgirl (Arrasay does Las Vagas in white). As with Allie, we learn a waxing might be in order. Mia and Dan again dump on Izaak for not giving more to his partner. This is sooooo tired.

Vincent and Lisa do a contemporary piece for their second routine, choreod by the choreographer with the best name: Stacey Tookey.

The story is a broken girl and a guilty man who has to let her down, but wants to do it gently. They dance to MIKA’s Happy Ending. She has on a nightshirt and black panties, Vincent wears his favorite jeans and tank top. Both are barefoot. The choreo is terrific and the dancers are totally into the mood. Moving. Dan calls it the best routine of the night, Jean Marc gives it a standing ovation.

Nico and Lisa end the show with a Luther Brown choreod Hip-Hop number to T.I.’s Whatever You Like. They come out in white shirts, hats and shoes, black pants and suit coats, carrying briefcases with dollar signs on them. They are the second couple to use cases as props tonight (Miles and Allie had suitcases in their Afro-Jazz routine) and the second couple to have $ on the props (the $ on the bags Vincent brought on stage at the start of his and Natalli's Krump bit). As for the routine; it is the least hip-hoppy hip hop routine I’ve ever seen. Could as easily been called Contemporary. It’s okay but nothing to put on this year’s Christmas cards.

That’s about it. Mia tells them, “You guys are pimping hard tonight.” Nothing like using a word for making female children into whores as a metaphor for doing good work. Way to be hip, Mia.