Canadian Idol 6 - Episode 015

New intro, suits for the boys and dresses for the girls, and a new set for the debut of the top ten. Orrin and the Canadian Idol Band even get an intro and 8 bars. In the pocket - makes me want to hear more. Zack is wearing eye make-up in honour of David Bowie night.

Drew Wright is first up. He narrates a quick tour of home town Collingwood, with Vote for Drew signs all along Main Street, yakking hometown support yadda-yadda. He sings Bowie’s 36 year old Five Years while putting in a solid turn as band drummer. Has a string section playing along, miked to sound like a synthesizer. If it’s intentional, the sound man should do an installation piece for the National Gallery’s post-modern wing. The judges in general don’t care for Drew opening the top ten and not being out front.

Cut to Adam Costelli riding as part of a motorcycle pack with his dad and some friends. He’s riding what looks like a white Harley, a cop bike. But other makers churn out Harley-styled bikes these days, so unless you catch a glimpse of the logo you don’t know what it is if you can’t hear the motor. They pull into a family reunion in some southern Ontario green space. Guess it’s hometown night as much as it’s David Bowie night.

Costelli cruises on stage on his bike (the white windshield ferring is kind of gay) as the band crunches into Rebel Rebel. Somebody hands him his Telecaster as he dismounts. He hits the mic right on time. Nice. Lot of energy for Adam, which is something he’s needed to crank up. Zack and Jake both say it’s his best so far.

Julie Black does a lame-ass interview with Mark Day and it’s clear she doesn’t take him seriously as an contender. I think the judges are pissed that he has lasted this long, despite their attempts to discourage him. Lately it has seemed like he’s grown impervious to their insults and is just enjoying the ride. Before he performs he narrates a visit to his hometown in Newfoundland and we get to see his dad and uncles return from the sea to wish him luck.

He does Martha and the Vandellas’ Dancing in the Streets. Well, yeah, Bowie and Jagger released a version, but they were both at the height of their coke days and didn’t they have sex once around that time, just to see what that would be like, too? Mark goes totally over the top. Seeing this pudgy kid dressed in black and shaking it like a rockstar fills me with new respect for him. Farley and Zack can’t stop laughing. Jake calls it camp and accuses Mark of mocking the competition. You win, Mark - stay as long as you can.

Mookie Morris tackles The Man Who Sold the World. It is not a very good song, to start with. The melody is one of Bowie’s weakest. Zack and Sass continue to tout Mookie as the second coming of Elvis himself. Farley’s neutral and Jake didn’t like it. I’m with Jake. You could’ve burned the house down on Suffragette City, Mookie. Bad song choice.

Amberly Theissen gives us yet another glimpse into small town southern Ontario Canadiana before doing Space Oddity (39 years old. Damn, that’s scary). Jake notes it’s the Natalie Merchant version and refers to a season 2 performance of the song that was much more intense and, for Jake, set the standard for that song on this show. Zack disagrees, but I gotta go with Jake on this one – it wasn’t intense, and the song demands that.

Sebastian Pigott narrates his tribute to his family. He does Let’s Spend the Night Together, which Bowie did on the Aladdin Sane album. He misses his guitar intro and is horribly flat on the ending, but he’s a confident failure. Sass tries to tell him how badly he screwed up but chickens-out on getting specific. Farley doesn’t get more specific other than to say, “it was a lot of things.” Leave it to Zack; in possibly his finest moment as cultural critic to a generation, he tells Sebastian, “You pooched the first three chords on guitar and then you pooped the bed with the vocals from then on in.” And the best part about it is, Sebastian grimaces and doesn’t argue. In fact, he admits, “It happens.” Keep this guy, despite tonight.

We visit Lloydminister. Seems the town is thinking the town goof-off may have been right all along: risk having fun. Earl does Rock and Roll Suicide in a Sinatra short-brimmed hat, which looks kind of cool. But the judges are letting Earl down by not calling him on his loose ways with the key. Anytime you get compared to both Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen as a singer, it is not good, Earl. Tom Waits (for no man) and JC’s younger brother, L, are immortals for their songwriting. So is Bowie, for that matter: though you’d never know it from the choices being made here this evening. C’mon Earl, respect your gift. Respect the key.

Katherine St. Laurent, hometown, support, yadda-yadda. She does Cat People and it is horrible – but it’s not Katherine’s fault. The mix is atrocious. Though a whole band is playing, all you can hear is the rhythm guitar. Poor Katherine is put in the position of Howard Dean, when he lost the nomination because he screamed to be heard above a bad mix. Even Zack complains. The way the judges pump her up after the disasterous performance (Farley looks forward to seeing her, “next week and the week after and the week after and the week after”) you have to think the rumours that the judges are stumping for the first Quebec Idol might be true.

Insert Pantenne infomercial here.

In Theo Tams’ tribute to his hometown support we get our first tribute to a musical mentor, in this case a professor in the University of Lethbridge Music Department, Dr. George Evelyn. Theo does Silly Boy Blue off the very first Bowie album. His hair is bad enough to be a distraction. Theo, what’s with the hair? Every week you find a new way to look like Carmen Diaz in There’s Something About Mary, know what I’m saying? Just one performance, comb it back and look us in the eye. Till you do that, Zack’s right; you’re not exciting. Also, he’s flat for the first time in the competition, but not for long. That said, he’s still one of the top three.

Mitch MacDonald wraps us up. Last hometown visit, thank god. Mitch does Moon Aged Day Dream. What the hell, guys? No song later than 1982 was picked tonight; 20% of the selections weren’t even written by Bowie and one of the originals was done the way an artist other than Bowie arranged it. Are you telling us David Bowie hasn’t been vital for a quarter of a century, or that he never was vital?

That said, it is Mitch’s rockingest performance. Zack votes him most improved.

That’s it for the top ten. Next time we meet, we’ll be down to nine.