How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? - Episode 9

Does musical director Simon Lee have final say on who stays and who goes, right down to the final two? Because if he does, he controls this entire process. Once he makes up his mind on who he wants as Marisa, there’s sweet F anyone can do, is there? Even if he doesn’t have a say in the final two, he has the ability to get the contestant of his choice to that final decision, no matter how many times Canada puts her on the block, in theory.

No reason for the above other than that I was wondering.

We open with the final six doing The Lonely Goatherd. Gavin introduces the judges as “our posse of Maria wranglers,” and refers to Barrowman as a “Broadway leading ram.” Does that crack qualify as Gavin’s requisite gay man’s joke of the night?

The theme of the week is songs from 1965. Last week’s theme, “musical theatre,” was supposedly our chance to judge the contestants’ ability to sing while dancing. Only problem was, the judges said nothing about the dancing and didn’t even complain when some of the women evidently decided dancing wasn’t to their liking and danced not all). With that in mind, I remain hopeful that one of them will attempt to make the KISS-FM hot hit of the week, Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl (and I Liked It) there own this week.

We start with the news Andrew Lloyd Weber will be in Toronto next week and will remain in TO till the final selection. Before the performances start, ALW reminds us that all the women are strong vocally, so now it becomes a question of casting the role of Maria Von Trapp. He also says that they are focused on only 4 of the 6 women left.

According to ALW, Elicia’s performance last week (Cabaret), “probably was the performance of the evening.” Cut to Lee addressing the camera, “If The Sound of Music was just an album, Elicia would be my choice.” He does a hands-on-knees paradiddle finished off with a chest slap.

Lee has Elicia do, of all things 1965, the Otis Day and the Knights’ barn burner and Animal House anthem, Shout. And boy, does she ever nail it. She starts out in the crowd and makes her way to the stage singing a storm. She is moving throughout the entire performance and doesn’t miss a breath in the non-stop, high speed singing. I don’t know that I know anything more about her correctness for the role of Maria than I did before, but I do know that as soon as I am done with this recap, I’m going dancing.

Elaine says the same thing I do – she wants to dance. “You found the joy,” she tells Elicia. “It was a great performance.” Barrowman agrees, with his only complaint the fact that he couldn’t understand every word. Lee is beside himself. As much as Gavin is playing up a crush on Barrowman, I’m beginning to think Lee may actually hit from either side of the wicket and, if so, has a true case for Elicia

Of Prima Donna, who told us last week that she wasn’t going to change he bitchy ways (despite being publicly upbraided for them by judge Elaine Overholt) because she was delivering the goods in performance and that was what counted, ALW admits she is not one of the 6 they are seriously considering. He says, “She clearly doesn’t have a soprano yet that can tackle the importance of that opening number, The Hills Are Alive.” But, he admits, she has been proving them wrong so far and, “good on her.”

Lee tells us he gave Prima Donna Sonny and Cher’s Bang Bang “because she gives a big performance and in order to challenge her, this version of Bang Bang is totally internal and unshowy.”

The tempo is even slower than the dirge speed of the original. Listening, the Kill Bill version is what comes to mind – and that’s not a good thing. It just leads to free association of scenes from other Tarrantino movies, which is way too distracting.

Barrowman says it was boring and not the right song for her. The audience begs to differ. Elaine, who I say remains pissed off at Donna, agrees that it wasn’t right for her but disagrees that Donna’s soprano is not up to snuff. Lee leaps in. He tells Donna she did a good job, even if she didn’t hit every note in the middle. Then he ices her heart by disagreeing with Elaine and agreeing with the boss, telling Donna that, compared to her belter voice, “Your soprano is weak and undernourished.”

Back from commercial we learn that Madeline Paul (who Gavin calls “the resident director” of The Sound of Music, which sounds rather ominous if you’re Madeline, don’t you think?) paired the contestants with a group of children to put them “through their paces.” Over visuals of the contestants working with stand-ins for the Von Trapp children, we get Madeline’s opinion of the women as actors.

Tamara: “This would be a big, big learning curve for Tamara.”
Marisa: “Her energy is contagious.”
Donna: “Donna is a happy person; she’s always giggling. Her challenge is to find a maturity about her Maria.”
Jenna: “I’m drawn toward Jenna. She does her home work. She’s a natural.”
Elicia: “Elicia I loved. She is inexperienced, but she took the few notes I offered her seriously… She is a great singer and now she must learn to be a great actor.”
Jayme: “Jayme is bigger than life... I would like to see her just open her pores and be in the moment. Right now she has very strong instincts about how she wants to play Maria, and that could be a trap.” (a Von trap?)

In setting up the next performance we get a clip of ALW discussing Tamara’s performance of his You Must Love Me on last week’s show. He felt she was “at sea” with the song and feels that, knowing the caliber of the people working with her, “there must be a problem.” Cut to Lee, who chose to keep Tamara in the competition. “Tamara is classically trained, and it is hard to break out of that. But she needs to do that for Maria.”

Lee has her do the Leslie Gore 1965 hit You Don’t Own Me. Elaine thinks the acting was better, but admits she is, “still not sure you’re the top Maria.” Barrowman is even blunter: “Tamara, you are talented but you don’t do it for me. You need more training on your acting. I don’t see you as Maria.” And Lee is the bluntest: “A game effort, but not a successful one.”

If Tamara is in the bottom 3 this week, Simon won’t save her a second time.

ALW and Lee are in disagreement about Marisa. The boss likes her throaty lower register, while Lee feels it is a hindrance to her as Maria. He picks Downtown as Marisa’s song for the week and he may be subconsciously sabotaging her. He says it was chosen to showcase her “sweetness,” but Downtown is a tenor vocal and the choice may entice her into dropping the bell tones entirely.

Elaine calls it, “The best performance I’ve seen you do,” but only after mentioning, “The aches we have to go through with you.” Barrowman thought she was just as good as Petula Clark (“and I know Petula very well.” Even when he can’t dredge up a connection to his resume, this guy is compelled to insert himself in nearly everything that comes out of his mouth.) and feels she has finally displayed the vulnerability he has been looking for. Lee says she sounded sweeter, but feels it was a melancholy reading that missed the joyfulness of the original (I’ve always felt the melancholic undertone was the best part about Downtown, myself.).

Jenna seems to ALW to be, “a complete theatre animal; somebody who I would love to see working live. She is one of our leading contenders, I would say.” Lee feels Jenna’s voice lacks “a little warmth,” and for this reason assigns her California Dreaming. Huh?

It is an odd performance – Jenna’s least impressive, in my opinion. And the background dancers are just annoying. Elaine agrees, telling Jenna it was her first performance that wasn’t perfect, with the soft beginning creating pitch problems. Barrowman agrees (“When I was in a Broadway show with Carol Burnett…” That’s it – the official Maria drinking game: everybody knock back a stiff one when Barrowman name drops, including play titles.). Lee agrees as well: “It was Jenna’s weakest performance. That said, Jenna’s palette is enormous.” He expects her to be back next week.

Jayme’s is the final performance of the night. Referring to the wardrobe malfunction she dealt with last week, ALW says, “We absolutely know this girl can keep the curtain up in any circumstance and she’ll give you a good performance.” Lee’s problem with Jayme hasn’t changed since the series began: “Jayme is so polished it doesn’t read as real: it reads as a performance.” He gives her the Dusty Springfield classic, Believe Me. “You cannot do this song with a veneer. You have to do it with your guts on the floor.”

Elaine is mightily impressed with Jayme’s vulnerability (I swear, the more these guys whine about the contestants’ difficulty displaying vulnerability the more vulnerable they are to me changing the channel. Find something else to talk about, judges. Complaining about a lack of vulnerability makes you seem sensitive the first dozen times, but now that we are in the hundreds of mentions you just look unimaginative). Barrowman says, “Jayme, you shattered the glass Simon put before you. You did it with your guts on the floor. It was amazing.” Simon Lee is ecstatic. He feels he saw something in Jayme he’s been missing.

So that’s it for the performances. Clearly Simon wants Donna and Tamara out and Jayme, Marisa, Jenna and Elicia in. As the show ends, Gavin asks Elaine and Barrowman how they rank the top three. Barrowman (everybody, fill your glasses) says, “Elicia, Donna and Jenna.” Aw – glasses back on the table. Elaine’s top three is, “Jenna, Jayme and Elicia.” So neither Tamara nor Marisa gets a nod. What will Canada say?