Canadian Idol 6 - Episode 30

It’s the top 3 results show, featuring Bryan Adams doing 2 songs, home town concerts by the finalists and more commercials per minute of airtime than anything this side of the last 15 minutes of SNL. Mulroney quickly polls the judges on meaningless crap. Sass says if she can do anything for any of the top 3 guys, they should call her. Cougar alert.

Since the show is mostly filler, I figure I can put in some of my own. Want to mention that I approve of the gender-blind casting Canadian Idol has used this year. Don’t know if CI is the first iteration of the Idol franchises to try it out; does anybody reading this know?

Bryan does 18 Till I Die. I’m not a fan of forever-young sentiments. Hold on to 16 as long as you can my ass. Grow the fuck up and lend a hand - we’re bailing as fast as we can. That’s a sentiment I’d like to crank it up and wail to.

I’m sick of the CBC promulgating the myth that Canadians are polite. The rudest people I have ever met have all been Canadians, with the exception of a group of teenage boys on the south side Chicago that didn’t like the color of my skin.

Bryan does She’s Got a Way, the single off his new albums. Now don’t get me wrong here – I think Bryan has written enough classic barroom rockers to merit every honour and dollar he has – but, truth be told, I run for the door when his ballad gets cued up. Sometimes the door is too far and I take a window out of sheer self-preservation. Doesn’t matter what they call the ballad – and god knows he’s released it under a bunch of different names – but damn, it’s the same tune every time.

Okay, the hometown visits. Wish Earl was still around. I think he would have crushed it in front of Lloydminster. In any event, we get Drew in Collingwood; 15,000 population, all but 200 of whom turned out for the street concert. Theo hits Calgary, Coaldale and Lethbridge, Alberta. Seems kind of unfair that he got to do 2 hometown concerts and one big-city media stop. Mitch just gets one concert, like Drew did, but his crowd stretched to the horizon. Looked like most of Nova Scotia showed up. It looked like Yasgur’s Farm.

And the results: Drew, the performer who has shown the most consistent improvement over the course of the competition, is out.

Next week: chipmunk Mitch and piano man Theo go head to head in a battle of Alberta vs the Maritimes. This stopped being about talent a long time ago.