Canadian Idol 6 - Episode 32

Final results show. The opening number of this 2 hour stall-fest reunites the top ten. They do 8 bars of a song I (and Google) don’t recognize. They sing, “Nothing can stop this thing that we’ve got;” the eight confirmed losers singing that nothing can stop them just as loudly as do the final two. The tune morphs into a medley, with each singer getting 12 bars of face time. Sebastian over-emoting again (you’re only mesmerizing when you’re cool, Sabby); Earl, in shirt, tie, and shades and carrying a skate board, dipping his shoulders to Feelin’ Alright; Mookie in the crowd proclaiming Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag, Theo doing Elton John’s Still Standing; Amberly, Adam, Mitch, Mark, Drew and Katherine: the class of season 6 was a good one.

We’re going to keep track of how many performances are included in this show and how many montages. That’s 11 Performances – one group and 10 individual.

Hedley, a band featuring some guy from season 2 who sounds like the singer from Maroon 5 when the material is in the right key, does You’re Going to Miss Me When I’m Gone. The visual alternates between the performance and a montage of rejections from the early audition episodes. That’s 12 Performances, 1 Montage. Good to get a clip of Gary Smeddon, the first person sent packing on air this season. Hey Gary – come back to us next season, okay? Jake was full of shit.

Hedley does the single off their new album. It’s another turgid power ballad that might work as a Canadian Tire commercial.

Satellite hook-up to Port Hood, NS. Ben talks to the crowd of Mitch supporters, Mitch stands beside Ben. His earpiece isn’t working, so Ben fills him in on the homely anecdote his uncle is relating. Mitch is wearing a white belt. Herb Tarlick is not a good look for you (or anyone), Mitch.

R&B diva and Canadian Idol behind-the-scenes interviewer Jully Black gets her montage next. It is followed by Jully performing for the only time in season 6. She’s a better singer than color commentator, but she has a high likeability factor. Maybe she could replace Ben if he decides to spread his wings (lol).

And we’re up to Performances 14, Montages 2.

Theo and Ben hook-up to Lethbridge. Theo’s earpiece doesn’t work any better than Mitch’s, so Ben relays the homely anecdote from Mitch’s Grade 5 teacher.

A montage of this season’s mentors transitions to the final mentor, R&B singer and John Legend, doing Ready to Go Right Now. Performance 15, Montages 3.

Mariah Carey does an interminable song with a one-note bass line, 3 chords and no chorus (or maybe it was all chorus). It was like watching River Dance stoned. It went on so long I wondered if I was caught in one of those nasty time loops.

Ben and Farley touring Malawi as part of their support for the Schools-in-Africa program. Performances 15, Montages 4

Canadian Idol 5 winner Brian Melo and his band do Back to Me, the single off their new album. Nice bit of calculated dissonance in the guitar work. I liked it.

An interesting bit on Canadian Idol as a small town Canada phenomenon. Clearly the producers are not unaware of where the show’s primary audience lives. And yes, the homage fromage is a montage.

The Top 10 return for a final performance, I’m Going Home.

Finally the stars of the show return for their final performances. They reprise their two best songs, Weak in the Knees from Theo and I Love This Town from Mitch, then do a duet on Blue Rodeo’s It Hasn’t Hit Me Yet. The results are announced. To know one’s surprise, Theo is the new Canadian Idol.

Long life, Theo. Forget everything you learned on Canadian Idol about being a pop star and you’ll have a great career.

Final tally, Performances 20, Montages 5.